Neurodivergence and loneliness – plus art invitation to help calm
For many people, friendships and a sense of belonging are crucial for our happiness and well-being. Yet, for some neurodivergent individuals — especially people on the autism spectrum — forming and maintaining these connections can be a challenge. Research by Schiltz et al. (2024) highlights a concerning trend: loneliness and social isolation are common among neurodivergent individuals from childhood to adulthood.
What is neurodivergence?
Neurodivergence refers to the natural variations in how some people's brains work or develop. It's a broad term that encompasses a range of neurological differences, but it's important to note that it's not a mental illness or health issue. Some people prefer not to use such labels as being “neurodivergent,” while other people find using the term helpful in navigating a neurotypical world. It helps them realize that their brains simply operate differently than those of neurotypical individuals.
From a scientific perspective, neurodivergent individuals may experience differences in neurological development, cognitive functioning, and social interactions. In a nutshell, this might look like:
Have a brain that developed in a different way compared to a neurotypical brain
May prefer social interactions that differ from those of neurotypical individuals
Learn in ways that are distinct from neurotypical learning styles
Think in a manner that may be different than neurotypical thought patterns
Communicate in ways that vary from neurotypical communication styles
Perceive and interpret their surroundings differently than neurotypical people do
Process sensory experiences differently
Neurodivergence and social isolation
As such, social situations and social cues can often feel confusing and draining. There may be a lot of effort to try and understand and react to the nuances of neurotypical communication patterns and non-verbal expressions that come naturally to neurotypical people. And even with all that effort, neurodivergent individuals may still be and feel misunderstood. These challenges can lead to socially awkward moments, misunderstandings and alienation from their peers.
One of the hurdles that neurodivergent individuals face is the pressure to conform to neurotypical social norms. They may have been encouraged to try and “fit in” by redirecting their behaviors and to adopt what are considered typical social skills. Or they may have chosen to try and fit in themselves because the experience of social rejection and isolation compounded can be painful. Learning to conform to neurotypical social norms is what’s known as camouflaging—masking one’s true self to avoid judgment. And though there can be a feeling of social connection and belonging as a result of camouflaging, this practice can sometimes make it even harder for neurodivergent individuals to form genuine relationships. They may feel they have to keep up a façade instead of being their authentic selves. This rejection of their authentic self can lead to more intense feelings of loneliness.
So, what can help?
Art therapy can be a valuable tool for neurodivergent individuals allowing self-expression in non-verbal ways. Engaging in creative activities in art therapy can provide a safe space to process feelings of isolation, frustration, marginalization and alienation in a supportive environment. The act of creating can be incredibly cathartic, helping individuals articulate emotions that might be difficult to express through words.
Through therapy, they can explore their experiences, identify coping strategies that can feel helpful without rejecting their authentic self, and build confidence in social situations.
Lastly, support groups could be a wonderful space to connect with other neurodivergent individuals and provide a sense of authentic belonging through shared experiences. Here are a few resources that may help:
Canucks Autism Network – virtual groups for teens and adults
Women with ADHD – virtual peer support group on Meetup Toronto
Art Therapy Invitation to Calm and Improve Focus
Studies have shown that bilateral stimulation – activities that engage both the left and right hemispheres of the brain – can help with emotional regulation and improve focused attention for individuals on the spectrum of ADHD and/or autism.
This art therapy invitation to help calm includes a simple bilateral drawing and bonus reflection.
Tape down a large piece of paper on a flat surface like a desk.
Choose two different colours of either pastels, crayons or pencil crayons and hold one colour in each hand. For example, blue crayon in the left hand and red crayon in the right hand.
Begin to draw large circles – or whatever shape desired – simultaneously with both hands. Keep going until you feel like stopping.
Bonus reflection
This bonus reflection invitation helps acknowledge and honour the ups and downs in life.
When the bilateral drawing feels complete, take a moment to reflect on one positive, comforting, or enjoyable moment in your week. And then take a moment to reflect on one tense or slightly uncomfortable moment in your week. Create a visual response to those two moments in the bilateral drawing – using one side to show the positive moment and the other side to show the slightly uncomfortable moment.